February Letter

To my friends and family, to those I know personally or barely know at all, to those I’ve passed on the street or those who have just stumbled upon this blog, to all of those who walk this world, facing their fears, discovering truth, and struggling to fulfill their true nature:  To all of you, I share my heart.

There are words and phrases that we use everyday that carry with them a certain amount of arrogance especially when used to imply we possess their exact meanings.  Phrases and words that are, in their very essence, a mystery, a riddle, or a paradox.  Words like faith, trust, courage, belief, or love.  It’s a fact of the universe that who ever may pretend to possess the full meaning of any of these words is absurdly arrogant or just insane or both.  The greatest of these mysteries is love.

The following is what I understand of love in as far as I have come into my own existence.  It’s the basics, a start, the beginning of a journey.  Love is something that must be experienced and lived, something that develops, something that moves and evolves, much like life itself.  It finds it’s meaning in motion, it’s lived forward but understood backward. Love is not something created by us and therefore it’s not something capable of being destroyed by us.  In the same way it’s not defined by or dependant on anything we do.  It’s something that lives and breathes apart from us, like a roommate we either choose to live among and remain with or depart from.  And it’s easier to understand love in pieces and fragments: moments that reveal truths about the very character of love.   Like Paul who has put love to words in that very way, explaining that true love exists in these very simple and straight forward truths.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on it’s own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

And just as Paul put forward his understanding of Love and it’s bounds and boundlessness, so will I, build from the foundation that Paul put forth and explain the aspects of Love as they have become clear to me.

“Love is both beautiful and painful.  It is not manipulative but requires and demands freedom, the choice to give or not give, to share or stay quiet, to remain vulnerable or to run away. Love concerns itself not so much with the happiness of the beloved but with their progress.  It never desires to hold back or stand in the way, but calls for perfection and completion.  Love often points to the sins and flaws of the beloved, yet is always willing to forgive. Love is neither selfless nor selfish, but longs for the perfect balance of the two.   It never completely walks away or dies quietly for true love will always endure all types of trials, tribulations, and troubles.  Love never gives up: for it’s very tightly connected to hope, always willing to believe in the possibility of redemption.”

Just as everyone possesses their own personally unique fingerprint, they also bring to every relationship their own uniquely evolved balance of love.  Love is like paint on a canvas, each person is going to balance all the aspects of love differently creating their own masterpiece upon their canvas, resulting in uniquely beautiful pieces of art.  And just like any true artist will tell you, ones art is never fully developed or mastered.  Love is not complete until life takes it’s final bow, it takes a lifetime to master, it takes an eternity to learn how to love best and most best, it takes forever and a day of trial and error, of moments of beauty and pain, of courage and vulnerability.  Anything can happen along the journey towards the perfection of love, it’s about learning, growing, and evolving.  It requires of us to endure the pain and continue loving even when we no longer feel it: for love is not something to be felt but something to be lived.

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