This Excellent Absurdity

There is a Voice

May 28

Posted by KEvin in My Perspective | No Comments

Longing For The Voice by Wojciech Dziadosz - Click on the picture to Check Him Out!

There is a voice, the voice of a phantom, a spirit, my Father. He speaks of things that are contrary to my nature but nonetheless feel a part of me: my true self revealed in his words. He asks of me things that are difficult yet worthwhile, seemingly impossible yet virtuous, and extremely painful yet exceedingly important. I’m speaking of this now because of the revelation that it’s quite possible that he is speaking to you as well. It is imperative that we speak the words of our Father. I want to know them; I want to hear them. Although, I ask you to consider, as you read this, that there is nothing in my life more absolute than these words. I’m surer about these things than anything else.

My father has called me to be his voice for the broken, beaten, and the damned. He’s asked me to look into dark places to cultivate light. He has required of me to believe and trust in people unconditionally, in spite of each person’s inability to do the same back. He encourages me to expect the beautiful and the wonderful and to continue to be surprised by the evil and the ugly. He’s taught me that cynicism breed’s darkness while faith, love, and trust produce immeasurable amounts of light. And to top it all off, he asks that I believe in his life, his words, and trust them above all else and so I trust these words, these ideas and thoughts. I will endure all forms of discouragement I receive for believing in these ideas and continue to try my hardest to live accordingly.

Very rarely do I stand on absolutes, for I really despise the lack of conversation that is a result of such an attitude. But as I stated before this is who I am and this is who I was born or re-born to be.

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Tags: Conversation, God, Longing_for_the_Voice_by_Dr4kon, Love, The Call, Trust, Voice

“As Yourself”

May 9

Posted by KEvin in My Perspective, Uncategorized | No Comments

I’m fascinated by the idea of loving someone “as yourself,” and have spent an awful lot of time pondering the meaning, the possibilities, and the difficulties with loving someone else using the same means and measure in which we love and care for ourselves. In a culture as individualistic as the one in which we live, how rare is it we find someone who cares just as much about someone else’s needs as they do about their own. What would it even look like for one person to give up their individual rights, their individual freedoms, and their individual luxuries for the shared rights, shared freedoms, and shared luxuries of the community. Who in their right mind would give of their voice to a child who doesn’t have one, or give of their own food or property to those who have found themselves without. What kind of person chooses to give up what is rightfully theirs to keep. Who would give up their own life, their own desires, their own dreams, their own God-given resources for someone else.

Jesus often gave instructions that pointed to the heart of this concept, the one that comes to mind first for me is this one:

If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. “

I’ve always seen this particular teaching of Jesus’ to be extreme and radical because it goes against the way most of us live today. All of Jesus’ teachings teach us to love but were not meant to follow them as one follows a law, but we follow the spirit in which each instruction was given. We follow love. We give our shirt to the man who sues us because he is a man in need, because we love him, his needs our like our needs. The person who forces us to go along with them for a mile, we happily go two, for maybe they just need a friend and we know what that’s like, no man should be friendless. And when our neighbors, friends, family, or even our enemies ask or require something of us, we are to consider, what if it were me?

For the young and for the innocent, this instruction, to love others as yourself comes really easy, almost natural. It’s not rare to see this type of love in our children, for example, the time a young a boy begged his mom to get McDonald’s for the homeless guy on the corner, or the little girl who gave the contents of her entire piggy bank to the missionary who spoke at church. But life often takes away more than it gives and one of the things it subtracts from our lives is our ability or willingness to love others as ourselves. Most of us began in our young life, giving, loving, sharing as if others were just as important as ourselves, but then something happened: someone we gave to, took to much, walked away with a piece of our soul, or spit in our face. The result of which is a heart that’s less open, less warm, less willing to give, to share, and to love, taking our natural ability to love others as ourselves and replacing it with a constant struggle to force ourselves back open. The truth is to love someone as yourself, is to take a risk, to put your heart and soul on the line on a regular basis. And inevitably, we all get hurt. So what then? How do we get back to where we once were? The answer to this question is far from simple, I think when it gets to that point, we only have one choice and that’s to lean on the words of Jesus, that if we ask of Him, we will receive.

Lord, knowing that this is the story behind the current condition of my heart, and my soul I call for, I beg, I plead, I desperately cry out asking for the restoration of my innocence, my warm and open heart, the chunk of my soul that disappeared. I pray that you do the same for all who find themselves here. I ask that you begin to change the fundamentals that are shaping the world around us from the mindset of the individual into the mindset of the community. Revive in me the ability to love others as myself.

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Tags: Community, Culture, Friendship, Jesus, Love, Love Thy Neighbor

Love Thy Neighbor

May 2

Posted by KEvin in My Perspective | No Comments

Love Thy Neighbor

The love that enlarges not it’s borders, that is not over spreading, including, and deepening, will contract, shrivel, decay, and die.” – George MacDonald.

When you think about the relationships you have or have had with your siblings, or those you consider as such, several things may come to mind: you might think of how much you like, appreciate, or admire them, or of how they’ve let you down, you might worry about them and their well being, or wish you could take back the nasty things you said last time you spoke, maybe you wish you spoke with them more frequently, or maybe you think you speak to them too much. No matter what thoughts are in your mind, you have to admit, you do think about them. We don’t get to pick our brothers and our sisters, and so we fight, we give the silent treatment, we hold grudges, but in spite of all the fighting and bickering we just aren’t able to completely do away with the basic love we feel for our siblings. For some reason or purpose we were created with an inability to resist the brotherhood within. Indifference doesn’t come naturally but through much practice and determination and often times only serves the purpose of masking other more painful emotions. Often times we may wish we could feel indifferent and we may try to force ourselves into a state of indifference, but if we are truly honest with ourselves, our sibling’s existence is not easily forgotten, discarded, or ignored.

I point this out to say, isn’t this the way it should be with all the people we are connected to. For what is indifference, really, but the neglect of love, or a general reality of lovelessness. Isn’t it indifference that Jesus is asking us to a cast aside when he tells the story of the good and kind Samaritan man? Wasn’t he challenging us to open up our hearts and our worlds to care about the people who near to us; the people he puts into our paths. The truth is we do not pick our brothers and our sisters, we do not pick our neighbors, and we do not pick the people in which we connect with along our paths. However, indifference is a choice, a choice that goes against the very nature of our existence because we were beings created for love. What a beautiful thing it is to recognize our kin, our kind in those who are close and connected, to see bits and pieces of ourselves in those who cross our path.

Lord, despite the flaws and frustrations I feel towards some of those who have crossed my path, I make the choice not to be indifferent, to my neighbor, my brother, my sister, or anyone who happens to be, at any moment, standing right next to me.

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Tags: George MacDonald, Indifference, Jesus, Love, Love Thy Neighbor, Quote, The Good Samaritan, Unspoken Sermon

The Art of Restoring What We’ve Once Destroyed

Mar 17

Posted by KEvin in My Perspective | No Comments

Ground Zero

I definitely am not one that can sit here at my computer and claim to know a lot about forgiveness, for ideally that should come from a man much stronger and wiser than I. Yet even I, in all of my ignorance and stubbornness, understand how difficult it is to withstand the pain, embarrassment, and strife that can come from the hands of our fellow human beings, especially the ones who stick around long enough to gain our trust. I, too, experience the temptation to judge and condemn those who use their existence as an opportunity to cause destruction and disconnect in a world that was meant for creation and community. It would be easy to just refuse forgiveness all together. It’s not like they deserve it. If I were completely honest with myself often times this is exactly how I feel. I imagine those who have hurt me coming back, pleading and begging for my forgiveness and I turn and walk away the same way they walked away from me, because that’s what I think they deserve.

Or instead, I could just agree to the bare minimum, (e.g. “I’ll forgive but not forget.”) or agree to forgive but only with a spirit of contempt only because it’s what I’m supposed to do. It’s always going to fall back to what I think the person deserves. It’s the law of “ just consequences.” You walked away, you spit in my face, or you treated me like crap, there should definitely be some consequences and maybe it’s my job to make sure you feel them.

And yet what’s the ultimate consequence for MY actions. Is causing MORE destruction and MORE disconnect really the impact I want to make? If Jesus’ purpose was not to condemn the world, then what business is it of mine?

Forgiveness is difficult because just like any other aspect of love it’s never indifferent; to forgive and walk away is to not forgive at all. To forgive someone is to love someone, and to love someone is to continue a connection, to build a friendship, to construct a living community. Forgiveness can be as simple as a hug or as complex as an ongoing uncomfortable conversation. It’s an open heart and mind, a willingness to continue and the courage to begin again and it’s all of this with no regard for the ugliness that may come against us. The real beauty of forgiveness lies in the risk, in the understanding that we may face a closed and cold heart time and time again. And yet true forgiveness is ones ability to never close your heart to anyone for any reason. It’s found in our ability to keep our hearts warm and open no matter how many times we come up against cold hearted or closed-minded individuals. With every action we either create or destroy and forgiveness is the art of restoring what we’ve once destroyed. Re-creation and Reconciliation, Forgiveness and love, it’s all the same. It’s the result of a constant and consistent open heart.

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Tags: 9-11, Forgivenss, Friendship, Ground Zero, Jesus, Restoration

I’m Just a Kid with a Flashlight

Feb 18

Posted by KEvin in Uncategorized | No Comments

Day 019 - Hemoglobin by cult_hero13. Just another kid with a flashlight... and a camera. Uploaded on Flickr

Words always fall short, especially in their ability to fully capture the essence of anything that’s infinite or immeasurable. The way I see it, words are to truth & spirit what a child with a flashlight would be in an art museum with no lights: so much to be seen and yet with such an inadequate instrument the wonder and glory of the entire museum is completely lost. And so it is with the relationship between words and truth, descriptions are just inadequate instruments that reveal only minuscule parts of a much greater, much more glorious realm, a world beyond our eyes.

And so I begin to wonder, are the words that make up the beautiful, almost all encompassing holy scriptures all there is? Do those words, phrases, and sentiments contained between the two leather covers our bible add up to all that the world is, does it contain all that God meant for us to believe? Why would God, who is immeasurable and infinite, describe himself and his kingdom, which is just as equally infinite and immeasurable using the limited scope our human words have to offer. Words are not of his nature, they are of ours. He didn’t just use any words, the ones that poured out of the minds of Moses, David, Peter, and Paul and so many more, were never JUST words. God’s abilities lie not in words and intellect but in a presence and a power behind the words. He has enlightened us several times over with those words and he will continue to forever and ever. George Macdonald explained it this way:

with vivid flashes of life and truth his words invade our darkness, rousing us with sharp stings of light, to will our awaking, to arise from the dead and cry for the light.”

-George Macdonald

We naturally crave a way to see in the dark, far beyond the scope of our own flashlights. Two main points come to mind with this revelation. The first one is as simple as carefully processing the words that come from my lips. I should choose the combination of words that hold with them the force of another world. I can shine the light at all that’s lovely and wonderful or I can shine it at all the crap. I can point my light at the paintings or I can point my light at the carpet. The second one reveals the amazing and wonderful foresight of our creator. He didn’t lock us alone in the darkened musuem. The truth is the more people who use their light pointing in all the right places the more of the wonder and beauty we all get to see. It turns out the answer Jesus brought with him was that seeing in the dark is as simple as uniting together in companionship, compassion, and community. He didn’t leave the key to the kingdom on earth inside of ourself, but inside of ourselves!

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My February – PHOTO BOOTH – Photo shoot!

Feb 8

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Click on any image to enlarge!

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My Consolation and Desolation

Feb 6

Posted by KEvin in My Perspective | No Comments

Taken by Brownie Bear and uploaded on Flickr --- This window commemorates the dead of the Great War. The depiction of destruction and desolation either side of the figure in the middle makes the scrolled message 'Thanks be to God who giveth us the victory' strange to me.

“Why can’t I just catch a break?!” — “Why does all this happen to me?” — “Why does it seem that everything is harder for me than for everyone else.”

I don’t know about you, but for me statements like that have come extremely easy, they’re reflexes, kinda like gaging or puking. I’ve reached a point in my life that even the small victories and blessing that occur in my world seem so minor when held up against the context of my current, somewhat seemingly pathetic existence. At this moment things just feel desolate. It’s a struggle to write, a struggle to find meaning or purpose, and really a struggle to just make it through a day. It’s not that things are so much worse now than they used to be, in fact, very little has changed. At one point, it just seemed like there was some kind of flow, motion, or movement behind me, like a boat out at sea with the wind in it’s sails, the boat is just along for the ride. And now the wind has just disappeared, leaving the boat almost motionless in the middle of nowhere. Even the easy things aren’t as easy as they used to be, and the hard things feel darn near impossible. It feels like God, the strong force of my life that has been forever pushing me forward, has just disappeared and left me with nothing, making it feel like I’m barely moving, barely breathing, barely living; stuck, stranded, lonely, and far away from sweet relief.

My own story reminds me of St. Ignatious’ concepts of consolation and desolation. He felt that all of mankind experience times of consolation and desolation. Consolation consists of those times when we feel that mysterious force behind us like a wind in our sails, when we’re aware of God’s presence in our life and have no doubts that he’s right there, ordaining each step. Things seem to be moving and flowing, and we really get a sense that this life has a motion, a purpose, and a destination. It’s like walking in a field in the middle of the afternoon when the sun is out and everything is illuminated, we feel safe, we know where we are and where we are going because we can see for miles in any direction. We have no problem determining right and wrong because we have God acting as our own personal Jiminy Cricket, whispering in our ear. During consolation, we still have issues and problems just like any other time, but they seem manageable and maybe even a little exciting.

But then there’s this other thing called desolation. And desolation is just the opposite, it includes those times when things seem dark, the force that was once thrusting us forward at high speeds has disappeared, and we feel stuck and abandoned. We become very unsure of God’s presence and as a result become unsure of our own direction, every decision seems more difficult, even the litte ones. Estranged and foresaken are the feelings that dominate the heart, leaving us feeling paralyzed at most and extremely exhausted at the very least. It’s leads us to scream and yell, directing our attention to the dark abyss that seems to have replaced the life force that used to be behind us.

Ignatious eventually makes it clear, that these are our feelings, maybe our earthly realities, but our God is an ominpresent God. He’s there, even when we’re feeling forsaken and abandoned, as we all feel at times, He never actually leaves. Ignatious goes on to point out that the answers to true life, the road toward the abundant living we’ve all heard so much about is found amidst the times of desolation. Strength, Patience, Bravery, Loyalty, Faith and True Love are all characteristics developed into a state of completion and perfection during the desolate and dark times. It’s the man that still believes while in the dark and in the silence who has found perfect faith. Lord, help me! When I struggle, when I feel pain, when I see destruction and corruption, when I experience desolation, let me rejoice for the opportunity to have my faith perfected.

² Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

- James 1:2-4

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Tags: Brownie Bear, Consolation, Cynicism, Darkness, Desolation, Faith, God, hope, James 1:2, Jiminy Cricket, Love, Pain, Saint Michael at Northgate Church, St. Ignatious, The Great War, War Memorial

My Favorite 15 – Jan. 30th, 2010

Feb 1

Posted by KEvin in My Favorite Fifteen | No Comments

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God vs. Scrambled Eggs

Jan 30

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Uploaded to Flickr on January 29, 2010 by Spork or Foon?

Ronald Rolheiser in his book, “Forgotten Among the Lillies” tells a story of a young man who came to him for confession. He had been involved in an affair with a woman and as a result she had become pregnant. Ronald described him as “being a sensitive person who needed no reminders that he had been irresponsible. He made no attempt to rationalize or offer excuses.” He goes on to explain how he understood the irrevocable brokenness or destruction that was to come as a consequence for his action. The young man’s last words really summarized the sadness and hopelessness that plagued his soul at that moment: “There is no way I’ll ever live normally again, beyond this. Even God can’t unscramble an egg.”

I read this and I couldn’t help but think about my own scrambled eggs, the mistakes I’ve encountered and the messes they’ve left behind. Whether it be the decisions of a governing system (Presidents, Congressman), the hurtful decisions of friends or family, or just my own mistakes and consistent failures, these are things I can’t go back and change, things no one can go back and change. And the cynic in me, the broken, scared, frustrated, stressed, and tired person I’ve been screams out pointing to the hopelessness, the pain, and the ugliness of everything around me. I point to the idiots that I see instead of the innovators. I point to the corrupt instead of the honorable, and It always seems I’m more willing to point to everyone’s mistakes instead of pointing toward their joys and successes.

It’s like I’m on a boat with Jesus down below and my first thought is to wake him up to point out the storm, resulting in the very same rebuke heard by the disciples: “O ye of little faith.” Cynicism is the tendency in all of us to point in the wrong direction. Doesn’t the world have enough commentators willing to point at all that’s wrong in the world, where are the ones called to point in the opposite direction, to point to hope. Where are the Christians who were called to be light to the world, to remind us there is hope amidst the pain.

I think it’s time for me to try and take my place as a true Christian, pointing to the “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.” and if their is nothing around to point to, I guess it’s my job to make sure there is.

So maybe it’s true, God can’t unscramble an egg, but he can provide another one, and another one, and another one. With God, it’s not about what you’ve done, but what are you going to do, now? I think that’s how we can always know God from all others, it’s always about what you’re going to do NOW!

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Tags: Christianity, Cynicism, Faith, Forgotten Amoung the Lillies, hope, Jesus, Ronald Rolheiser, Scrambled Eggs, Spork or Foon

My Cracks In the Sidewalk

Jan 24

Posted by KEvin in My Life, My Perspective, Quote | No Comments

“I encounter people when I walk on the street now who give me sort of a sad look. I have had more fortune than anybody I know. And if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-Eleven Parking lot we will find a way to make it fine. We really will. I have no problems. And, I don’t want to do it on a 7-Eleven parking lot. (Audience laughs) But whatever, uh… And all I ask is one thing…and this is…I’m asking this particularly of young people that watch…please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality. It doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you. Amazing things will happen.”

- Conan O’Brien (from his goodbye speech on the Tonight Show)

I feel for Conan. Although I am extremely impressed with Conan’s words and thoughts, there is no doubt in my mind how hard this must be for him: to have reached his dream only to have it ripped from him so rapidly. How different the world must look. The color, fascination, and excitement that comes with living a dream quickly transforms into dull tones of grey. No matter how easy it must be to say cynicism is the enemy, it’s never quite so easy the next day. I’m sure Conan will never be labeled a cynic but no doubt the next couple weeks cynicism will feel much like a best friend to ‘ole CoCo. All of that being said Conan’s goodbye has me thinking more about my own goodbyes, about my own tendencies toward cynicism, my own inability to walk away from my dreams.

I’m reminded of my cousin’s kid, Ethan, on his birthday this last year. He immediately became infatuated with one of his gifts, a toy vaccum cleaner. He really went at it, he vacuumed every inch of that room, probably 3 or 4 times and still there was no sign that he was ever going to quit. The time had come to show him and his twin sister their big playhouse, that no doubt took hours for my cousin to put together and here Ethan is still vacuuming the living room. So here comes Mom, she picks up little Ethan who almost instantly begins violently kicking and screaming, it was obvious he did not want to be pulled away from that vacuum cleaner. He didn’t care where he was going or what was going to come next, he wanted to cry and scream, to grieve and lament that former moment in the living room with the vacuum cleaner.

I can’t help but question where, on a scale between Conan’s reaction and Ethan’s, my reactions fall. Maybe if I were more of a seasoned writer, like Conan I would have said the right thing and let the dream go, like a mature adult should but if I’m going to be honest here Id’ have to admit I relate much more to Ethan and his story and reaction. I, too, like Conan, have become to hate cynicism but sometimes I wonder if its not as inevitable as cracks in a sidewalk. Life hurts, time often takes away more than it gives. I’m only 26 years old, I have many more goodbye ahead of me in this life maybe someday I’ll be able to handle it as graciously as Conan, with what C.S Lewis called “excellent absurdity“.

“But to thank God for the “excellent absurdity” which enables us to play great parts without pride and little ones without dejection, rejecting nothing through false modesty which is only another form of pride, and never when we occupy for a moment the centre of the stage, forgetting that the play would have gone off just as well without us…” - C.S. Lewis

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Tags: C.S. Lewis, Conan O'brien, Cousin, Cynicism, Friendship, goodbyes, hope, Jake, NBC, Recovery, The Tonight Show

This Excellent Absurdity

The Home for Everything Kevin Dunn!

There is a Voice

“As Yourself”

Love Thy Neighbor

The Art of Restoring What We’ve Once Destroyed

I’m Just a Kid with a Flashlight

My February – PHOTO BOOTH – Photo shoot!

My Consolation and Desolation

My Favorite 15 – Jan. 30th, 2010

God vs. Scrambled Eggs

My Cracks In the Sidewalk

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